My Obsession
Me.
That's right, me.
This isn't original by any means. DropD did a post about his obsession with himself a while back. But that gives me yet another clue as to why he's my best friend. DDT and I have been friends for 14 or 15 years, and the first 10 of those years we spent LOTS of time together. We haven't spent a ton of time together in the past few years, but the blogosphere is our new clubhouse. In any case, even years into our friendship we would be amazed at the constant discoveries of similarities in our lives, both present and past.
Anyhoo, The Focus here isn't DDT, it's me. As I said in the previous post, the wallpaper on my cell phone is a picture of me. I spend hours looking at myself in the mirror. I think about myself all the damned time. My emotions get all screwy when my wife's constant focus isn't me and she isn't overwhelmed with pleasing me and meeting my needs. I have spent my entire married life learning how to love her and put her needs before my own, and I've got to tell you that's hard as hell. I'm sure that it would be hard for anyone, but something tells me that not everyone is as self-obsessed as me and DDT.
My obsession is so strong that I ignore myself in a way; I become a bit self-destructive. To wit, I eat badly and ignore my obesity because a part of me tells me that everyone else wants me just as badly as I want myself, no matter what I look like. I evaluate every statement made to me to assess whether there was some of sort of hidden flirtatious meaning and constantly wonder how many of the women in my office secretly want me. I'm freaking nuts, no question.
Like DDT, I read and re-read everything I write in the blogosphere and then I go back later and read it again and wonder how I could be so damned clever. I secretly (not anymore, right?) think that I look great naked in spite of my weight, as long as you ignore my ass and the size of my junk. On the other hand, what do you expect? When you look at my manhood, you have to see it in the context of my body, which is large. If I were thin, the thing would look huge.
See how I reason? This is ridiculous.
p.s. If you don't find this post entertaining, just tell me and it will have no effect.
That's right, me.
This isn't original by any means. DropD did a post about his obsession with himself a while back. But that gives me yet another clue as to why he's my best friend. DDT and I have been friends for 14 or 15 years, and the first 10 of those years we spent LOTS of time together. We haven't spent a ton of time together in the past few years, but the blogosphere is our new clubhouse. In any case, even years into our friendship we would be amazed at the constant discoveries of similarities in our lives, both present and past.
Anyhoo, The Focus here isn't DDT, it's me. As I said in the previous post, the wallpaper on my cell phone is a picture of me. I spend hours looking at myself in the mirror. I think about myself all the damned time. My emotions get all screwy when my wife's constant focus isn't me and she isn't overwhelmed with pleasing me and meeting my needs. I have spent my entire married life learning how to love her and put her needs before my own, and I've got to tell you that's hard as hell. I'm sure that it would be hard for anyone, but something tells me that not everyone is as self-obsessed as me and DDT.
My obsession is so strong that I ignore myself in a way; I become a bit self-destructive. To wit, I eat badly and ignore my obesity because a part of me tells me that everyone else wants me just as badly as I want myself, no matter what I look like. I evaluate every statement made to me to assess whether there was some of sort of hidden flirtatious meaning and constantly wonder how many of the women in my office secretly want me. I'm freaking nuts, no question.
Like DDT, I read and re-read everything I write in the blogosphere and then I go back later and read it again and wonder how I could be so damned clever. I secretly (not anymore, right?) think that I look great naked in spite of my weight, as long as you ignore my ass and the size of my junk. On the other hand, what do you expect? When you look at my manhood, you have to see it in the context of my body, which is large. If I were thin, the thing would look huge.
See how I reason? This is ridiculous.
p.s. If you don't find this post entertaining, just tell me and it will have no effect.
posted by Mitch/Mike at 2/08/2006 10:36:00 AM
5 Comments:
You're no different from the rest of us self-obsessed human beings. I also enjoy reading my own blog. The only thing that you do that I don't is look in the mirror all the time but that's because there's not much to look when you're an odl fart like me.
PS If you can still see your "manhood" below your belly without looking in a mirror you're blessed. ;)
As long as I suck in, I can even see my feet.
I am inspired. I will now go and create on my own neglected blog (and also in the fourth floor men's room). STAND YOUR GROUND MEN!!! STAND YOUR GROUND!!! Don't ask me what the hell that was about because I have no clue.
Can you still tie your shoelaces?
Post a Comment
<< Home