I Can't Get That Mr Clean Song Out Of My Head

It's always fun to laugh at the expense of others. Knowing this, I have spent my days trying to come in under the radar in every social situation. If most people like to make fun of others only half as much as I do, I am in constant danger of humiliation. I wear my clothing neither too tight nor too loose. I keep my mouth shut unless I know exactly what I'm talking about and have considered the implications and possible make-fun-of-edness of my statement and/or question. I check my nose for possible hangers-on like an OCD patient on crank. I hold in my gas in public like my heart will stop beating if I release it, even at the expense of horrific abdominal pain. And I gave my children names that are somewhat unique, but not so much as to be ridiculed. Not everyone subscribes to my philosophy, though. On the contrary, people these days have a tendency to name their children after automobiles and funny sounds more often than after good old, sweet uncle Harless. Not only that, some women will keep their embarrassingly stupid names when they marry and even hyphenate them with other, sometimes stupider names. It's amazing the things that can be a source of pride for people. But, I digress. I'll just list some funny names I came across over the last couple of weeks. Enjoy!

From Wichita, KS, an Irish auction site or the latest purchase of the McDonalds company? Demetria McGhee-Bey (say it real fast).
Roberto Bastardo – fatherless Mexicano of Muleshoe, TX.
Emory Necessary – if you have really jagged fingernails in Moundsville, WV.
Arthur Kleen – possible bathroom cleaner manufacturer from Nevada, MO.
Maria Abu-Rub – owner of a new prisoner-of-war camp in League City, TX.
Michael Livengood – Roanoke, TX. How you livin'?
Harry Barber – Covington, TX. I have nothing to add.