Funny Names of the Week

I've resisted this for a couple of weeks, but I'm done fighting it. My colleagues have weekly features, both of which are highly entertaining - so much so that one colleague has nearly reduced his blog to nothing more than the weekly. I have mentioned before that I am an unoriginal bastard; I have neither the comedic talent (read: hatred) of Wade nor the writing skills (read: useless education) of Bam, so it's not easy for me to come up with something. But there is a guy here at work that sends me an e-mail every time he comes across an account where the customer has a funny name. And there are an assload of people out there with funny names; you wouldn't freaking believe the number. So I present my weekly feature, the Funny Names of the Week. It could be one name or 10 names, however many I see. I'll include the name of the town where they live to give the feature a little more authenticity. Remember, these are real people who have reached adulthood and established credit in spite of their unbelievably unfortunate monikers.

Our favorite foreskin out of St Peters, MO: James Schmuck
Better late than never from Riverside, TX: William Tardy
From Mason, TX, self-pleasure specialist Mr. Jack Goff
We want him, gotta have him, from Fairway, KS: Freddy Funk
And bringing up the rear from Goffstown, NH: Brian Fanny

Let's see how long I can keep this up.