tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-171398282011-04-21T14:57:01.677-05:00A place to read and rant... or vice versa.Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.comBlogger601100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-81695146558400286802006-11-17T12:20:00.000-06:002006-11-17T12:21:09.806-06:00

Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm a sniveling little liberal pig with a bleeding heart for the oppressed. Maybe I'm on the edge all by myself cranking out crazy ideas like Stephen King on meth. Or maybe - just maybe - I'm a sensible American who pays his taxes and votes and loves his country in spite of its faults. I like the latter. I believe in this country; I believe in its legal system, way of life,

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1155920050050405732006-08-18T11:23:00.000-05:002006-08-18T11:54:10.113-05:00

I'm still alive. Jack is playing The Beastie Boys' "Brass Monkey" right now and although I don't dwell in a castle in Brooklyn, I do agree that those with "beef" should get beat to a pulp.I just enrolled in college for the first time in 10 years or so and in another 10 years I'll still be seeking my baccalaureate. I can't take online classes because of my computer situation. When I blog, I blog

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1141259549392023062006-03-01T18:12:00.000-06:002006-03-01T18:33:42.260-06:00

My hot water heater died last night. It's a tankless on-demand water heater that isn't very common, so I have no idea who to call. I think most people call plumbers for a water heater problem, but I figure they are used to cleaning up the mess from a leak and then installing a new one. Tank water heaters aren't usually modular; they usually just get replaced. My water heater is the size of a

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1141152570177532332006-02-28T12:45:00.000-06:002006-02-28T12:49:30.193-06:00

Is there anyone left with that name?Anyhoo, I've become suddenly obsessed with piercing. Really obsessed.I guess I've had a sort of pleasure/pain thing for a while, especially since my first tattoo. During extended pain, I mentally comfort myself with a vision of the endorphins flooding my veins and the resulting euphoria. I actually enjoyed the surgical removal of all four of my wisdom teeth

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1139507642638706092006-02-09T11:46:00.000-06:002006-02-09T11:54:52.060-06:00

I hate to admit it, but I relish the opportunity to offend mooslims at every chance (as long as I'm not at work). I really shouldn't be that way, but God help me I enjoy it so much. To wit, this link, which has several cartoon depictions of moohammed. Allah must be pissed!

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1139418959396723102006-02-08T11:14:00.000-06:002006-02-08T11:20:02.283-06:00

The most interesting thing to me in these pics (besides how awesome they are) is that Kevin (the guy on the right) only has one arm in one of them. He's the freaking guitarist, for crying out loud! A one-armed guitarist! Kevin is a great guitarist anyway, but as a person with only one arm, he's the greatest in his class! I took these pictures with an Olympus E-1, probably one of the best digital

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1139418360433072382006-02-08T10:36:00.000-06:002006-02-08T11:06:00.453-06:00

Me.That's right, me.This isn't original by any means. DropD did a post about his obsession with himself a while back. But that gives me yet another clue as to why he's my best friend. DDT and I have been friends for 14 or 15 years, and the first 10 of those years we spent LOTS of time together. We haven't spent a ton of time together in the past few years, but the blogosphere is our new clubhouse

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1138294980937706632006-01-26T10:57:00.000-06:002006-01-26T11:03:00.956-06:00

The Redneck has inspired me.I have a fairly easy job that requires surprisingly little of me. When it first started, it was difficult to remember everything I had to do, but as time has passed I have come to the realization that I am getting paid for doing almost nothing. True, I have moments in each month where I suddenly get swamped with this and that, but I'm the type that needs to be finished

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1137091047833105282006-01-12T12:32:00.000-06:002006-01-12T12:40:12.800-06:00

I neglected to mention my brush with fame last Friday in my previous post. That's right, I was in the presence of the Mad Hatter himself. In fact the back of the tall bastard's head was in many of the 160 pictures I took. Unfortunately, BAM was too busy to introduce us so I'll have to meet him some other time. Anyhoo, even though I don't share the Hatter's hatred for everything DeLay, I found

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1137028588006451402006-01-11T18:56:00.000-06:002006-01-11T19:22:01.783-06:00

I haven't posted much here lately. Part of that is the wife's new camera and the discovery of a little something called GIMP Shop. And that is the reason for this post.A couple things: First, there is a new link on my blog titled The Band. Second, since so much of my time has been taken up lately with taking and editing photos, I have thought lately about posting some of them. I know very little

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1137026896158052032006-01-11T18:39:00.000-06:002006-01-11T18:49:41.696-06:00

Infest what you detest. Maimed.What the hell is the deal with me and excruciatingly bad poets? I just hit next blog again and found this guy assaulting my sensibilities. Good lord, will someone tell these people that they suck and get it over with? Please? Is it up to me? Is this some sort of sign from God that my purpose in life is to seek out freakishly bad psuedo-poetry and hurl insults at the

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1136216464878261272006-01-02T09:35:00.000-06:002006-01-02T09:41:04.910-06:00

Twice in my life I have walked away from something that turned out to be relatively successful - at least, successful enough that I regretted my decision. Not that I regretted it to the point that I would necessarily change my decision if I could go back in time, but enough that I would seriously reconsider things.I'm a married man, and it has taken me 10 years or so to learn only a tiny bit

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1135964188163499462005-12-30T11:22:00.000-06:002005-12-30T11:39:30.440-06:00

The forecast from the National Weather Service for Dallas, Texas on Sunday, January 1, 2006 calls for a high of 80 degrees farenheit. A quick query of a website called Weather Underground says that Rio De Janeiro will have a high on New Year's Day of...you guessed it: 80 degrees farenheit. For those of you who don't know, Brazil is in the southern hemisphere of our beloved little sphere. The

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1135882692381681342005-12-29T12:56:00.000-06:002005-12-29T12:58:12.383-06:00

Just wanted to wish everyone a freakishly scary, belated merry Christmas. And a happy new year. I hope evil Santa skipped your house this year.

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1135103412517658602005-12-20T12:29:00.000-06:002005-12-20T12:30:12.540-06:00

Apparently, lots of websites and blogs do year end wrap-ups, and I will not be breaking the tradition. Now, I haven't seen any of these wrap-ups, but I like the idea because it's stupid and corny and I like stupid and corny. Besides, my important works get buried under each other and I need to rehash them for your entertainment.So, the first post was a stream of consciousness thing about finding

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1134424390373705102005-12-12T15:38:00.000-06:002005-12-12T15:53:10.393-06:00

My dad, some of my brothers and I did some fishing with my wife's stepdad this weekend. He is a professional guide on Lake Texoma. Since I was the one taking the pics, there are none of me. But I got an old one off of Mrs. Mitch's stepdad's website for your enjoyment. I don't really have the "post pictures and talk about that hella cool movie I saw this weekend" kind of blog, but these fish were

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1133804610960132472005-12-05T11:39:00.000-06:002005-12-05T11:43:30.980-06:00

Well, I promised Bam a post about my recent seminal submissions to my latently homosexual urinologist ( I know it's urologist, but I like the name I came up with better), but I can't for the life of me remember what I was going to write about. My relationship with my wife having improved greatly over the last few weeks, I can't bring myself to write in any detail about her help in the retrieval

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1133304874733747292005-11-29T16:52:00.000-06:002005-11-29T16:54:34.756-06:00

It's always fun to laugh at the expense of others. Knowing this, I have spent my days trying to come in under the radar in every social situation. If most people like to make fun of others only half as much as I do, I am in constant danger of humiliation. I wear my clothing neither too tight nor too loose. I keep my mouth shut unless I know exactly what I'm talking about and have considered the

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1132605782605075342005-11-21T14:40:00.000-06:002005-11-21T15:11:28.886-06:00

First of all, that goofy freshman congresswoman Jean Schmidt DIDN'T call John Murtha a coward, and the silly wench should not have retracted her statement. Her mistake was thinking that she could make such a statement and it would be OK; she should have known how it would go over. Second of all, I know Marines, I'm related to Marines, and she was right; they would rather die than run. Third, I am

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1132581380578511452005-11-21T07:52:00.000-06:002005-11-21T07:56:20.593-06:00

I finally found the link to BigC's website. Sorry about that. Please check this guy out; he's hilarious.

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1132281658260847222005-11-17T20:34:00.000-06:002005-11-17T20:40:58.276-06:00

Below is a snippet from a book called The Sword of the Prophet: A Politically-Incorrect Guide to Islam by Serge Trifkovic. I know it's long, but it is SO worth the time…you have no idea.In Moslem nations, the suppression of liaison between men and women outside prearranged wedlock has produced frustrated sexual tension that has sought and found release in homosexual intercourse through the

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1132256417484611132005-11-17T13:36:00.000-06:002005-11-17T20:41:38.703-06:00

You absolutely MUST see BigC's blog. This is some of the best (worst?) poetry I have ever seen.Answer him, Marco! He needs to know! What will be the future with Tanya?!

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1132095608215637142005-11-15T16:58:00.000-06:002005-11-15T17:00:08.236-06:00

From the BBC News 09/26/2005:In September, to preserve "respect and dignity" for newborns, the neonatal unit of Calderdale Royal Hospital in Halifax, England, officially banned visitors' "cooing" at infants. Said hospital official Debbie Lawson, "Cooing should be a thing of the past because these are little people with the same rights as you or me." To illustrate the rule, officials displayed a

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1131733166227953692005-11-11T12:15:00.000-06:002005-11-11T12:24:34.636-06:00

Dover, Pennsylvania voters spanked their school board and sent them to their rooms this week citing the board's acceptance of intelligent design curriculum. A completely new board has been elected; the people have spoken, blah, blah, blah. TV businesspreacher Pat Robertson has some things to say about that. Against all odds, a show called The 700 Club is still on the air in spite of the insane

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1131671792200893482005-11-10T19:14:00.000-06:002005-11-10T19:16:32.216-06:00

There are a few things most people don't know about the new marriage amendment in the Texas constitution. Here's the wording from the state's website: "The constitutional amendment providing that marriage in this state consists only of the union of one man and one woman and prohibiting this state or a political subdivision of this state from creating or recognizing any legal status

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1131212641594026682005-11-05T11:40:00.000-06:002005-11-05T11:47:20.396-06:00

I was lounging around last night waiting for clothes to dry watching Matrix: Reloaded. Yes, reloaded. As in, here’s a gargantuan pile of turd, let's reload the 50 millimeter shit cannon and blast it at paying customers. But the movie is a train wreck, so I have to watch it. TBS is doing this thing where they are "separating the funny from the unfunny" and they're doing some stupid show where they

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1131072353473689512005-11-03T20:32:00.000-06:002005-11-03T20:45:53.493-06:00

You hear the stories; urban legends, most of them. But now and again there's something that just tells you that one of them is real. Maybe it's a gut instinct, perhaps a friend of a friend knew the guy, or that one dude told you about it that you know for a fact has never told a lie because he's a 38 year old virgin by choice who volunteers at the nursing home changing diapers and you swear

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1130986677701194852005-11-02T20:53:00.000-06:002005-11-02T20:57:57.716-06:00

My new job makes it increasingly difficult to update this thing. I will try to do so as often as possible to keep Bam sane and such. Plus, I know you're all clamoring to see what I have to rant about. News of the Weird keeps me in topics.While we're waiting, here's a tip: Be honest. Quit all the bullshit and tell the fucking truth. You never know when you might be talking to someone who can see

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1130769297311810322005-10-31T08:34:00.000-06:002005-10-31T08:34:57.330-06:00

Saturday, October 29, 2005, 9:53 pm.I have a slight buzz tonight so bear with me – I had some wine after dinner (macaroni and cheese) and I'm feeling the effects. But the tipsiness of wine is a Red Ryder to whiskey's 12 gauge, so it's all good.November approaches and with it the end of my fertility (it takes 3 months for all the sperm to flush out after a vasectomy). I couldn't be more excited

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1130603374142492862005-10-29T11:27:00.000-05:002005-10-29T11:29:34.160-05:00

Fostoria, Ohio: Thieves broke in and carried off a safe in the office of a local organization that serves the poor (Fostoria Bureau of Concern), but director Susan Simpkins said that not only was the safe empty but the bureau had decided to junk it a while back and was looking for someone to haul it away. [News-Messenger (Fremont, Ohio), 3-8-05]And the Lord did grin.

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1130512995560390082005-10-28T10:22:00.000-05:002005-10-28T13:16:05.876-05:00

I've resisted this for a couple of weeks, but I'm done fighting it. My colleagues have weekly features, both of which are highly entertaining - so much so that one colleague has nearly reduced his blog to nothing more than the weekly. I have mentioned before that I am an unoriginal bastard; I have neither the comedic talent (read: hatred) of Wade nor the writing skills (read: useless education)

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1130440524398973662005-10-27T14:13:00.000-05:002005-10-27T14:18:15.796-05:00

A little news today for the loyal reader. I wonder what kind of poop it was. He was sprinkling fresh baked bads on fresh baked goods. Nice.From WFAA:The man accused of sprinkling dried fecal matter over fresh baked goods at a Dallas grocery store was found guilty Wednesday. Customers shopping at the Fiesta store on Ross Avenue complained about a stench while shopping in the bakery, which prompted

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1130377600832891442005-10-26T20:42:00.000-05:002005-10-26T20:46:40.856-05:00

I realze that I am a stupid unoriginal bastard, and normally, I wouldn't steal an idea (unless it's a good one from Wade). But I have to stand with Carlos Mencia and ask, "Why the Fuck Is This News?"Am I the only person that knows that the KKK's inbred, toothless members hate gays? By the way, they're marching in support of something? Damn, maybe this is news. Nevermind.

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1130271734565792302005-10-25T15:20:00.000-05:002005-10-26T10:01:12.836-05:00

I live in the country. So that you get a good idea what that means, I offer this: My late Pekingese, Jack, was startled by gunfire one late summer Sunday morning as I walked him – it was the opening day of dove season. To get to my house one must cross the creek twice and avoid the farm implements. Bring a sack lunch to walk from the street to my front door. And so on. There is a two lane,

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1130258304352963082005-10-25T11:35:00.000-05:002005-10-25T16:14:15.860-05:00

So, my brother works with a chick that's working toward a degree in social work. She says there's talk in Texas (I couldn't verify this with any news stories) of passing a law that will hold the parents of minors who father children responsible for child support. I think grandparental child support holds as much water as a trembling, six-month-old chihuahua, so I'm not sure we have anything to

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1130000251218791442005-10-22T11:55:00.000-05:002005-10-22T11:57:31.230-05:00

I watched Crash last night. Damned good movie; I recommend it. I have to ask, though: What the hell message was that movie trying to convey?If you've seen the flick, you know it's about racism, or at least I think it is. It could also be about how everything you do affects someone else, so be careful what you do, blah, blah, blah. But if it's about racism, the message was muddy, at best. Every

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1129830974699428792005-10-20T12:53:00.000-05:002005-10-20T12:56:14.710-05:00

One must put up barriers to keep oneself intact.- Geddy LeeJupiter Hyperspace Crystalstar, people. When are we going to learn to be transparent? Who the hell wants to remain intact when your life sucks? Geddy's words should be heeded as a warning, not taken as advice. Anyway, that's my serious rant for the day. Let's laugh at the misfortunes of others, shall we?Reported by The Guardian (London)

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1129826508320965792005-10-20T11:41:00.000-05:002005-10-20T11:41:48.326-05:00

I never thought I'd see the day.

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1129774862408954572005-10-19T21:16:00.000-05:002005-10-19T21:21:02.416-05:00

So I'm in a meeting today drawing pictures of trees and little Asian houses when my boss says that 11 equals 6.Now that's a hell of a way to start a blog entry, even if I do say so myself.We were talking about timekeeping and how it has to be figured for the benefit of the little assholes here who want to take FMLA hours. Don't even fucking get me started on FMLA. Don't. Just google it and shut

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1129741956828006722005-10-19T12:08:00.000-05:002005-10-19T12:12:36.840-05:00

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. - George BurnsLet me start by saying that I haven't kissed my wife in years. YEARS, you read it right. Don't get me wrong, she gave me a nice little peck before she left this morning. But I'm talking about kissing.My wife is a beautiful woman. She is an amazing mother, and she gives me every verbal indication that

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1129667262516963972005-10-18T15:22:00.000-05:002005-10-18T15:28:02.873-05:00

I went to the State Fair of Texas this weekend. Cradle of the corn dog, tallest Ferris wheel in North America, largest collection of art deco exposition buildings in the United States, giant white cowboy pointing north as if to say, "Leave! This is the worst freaking neighborhood in Dallas! Run fool!"Dallas' Fair Park is 277 city-owned acres smack dab in the middle of the city's largest

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1129394424517817932005-10-15T11:38:00.000-05:002005-10-15T11:40:24.523-05:00

From the Boston Herald, 8-7-05: Connecticut saddle-maker Mike Derrick, on why he set up a booth in Boston at the August Fetish Fair Fleamarket: He could spend six hours creating a bridle for a horse and earn $40, he said, but "make one for a human, $120."Bridle - A harness, consisting of a headstall, bit, and reins, fitted about a horse's head and used to restrain or guide the animal.I've never

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1129324876390986652005-10-14T16:19:00.000-05:002005-10-14T16:23:36.290-05:00

From the AP: This past Monday, Pittsburgh, PA police caught a man having sex with a woman in the basement of a building he had broken into. He was charged with the break-in, she was charged with criminal trespassing.This dude broke into a building, went and got the chick, and brought her back to the building to have sex with her. Wouldn't you rather get caught screwing outdoors than arrested for

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1129231291056980582005-10-13T14:18:00.000-05:002005-10-13T14:21:31.066-05:00

A few nights ago I had a dream where I was completely nude standing at the counter of a snowcone stand with some old childhood friends (who recognized me) standing behind me. I'll let that sink in a minute for those of you who know what I look like.The angry Austrian pictured here is none other than my main man Sigmund Freud (Booyakashah!). He posited that nothing we do occurs by chance; it's all

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1129149919228852562005-10-12T15:42:00.000-05:002005-10-12T17:52:14.990-05:00

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals….except the weasel.- Homer SimpsonThere's a guy here at work that is…let's see, how can I say this…he's an ass. An asshat. A shit-eating asshat. I hereby nominate him for asshat of the week. I know he won't win, but goddammit he deserves it. A man who asks the same questions on a daily basis deserves to be

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1129133232478201112005-10-12T11:05:00.000-05:002005-10-12T11:07:42.703-05:00

This morning listeners of the Howard Stern show were encouraged to take a whiff by the creator of a new dietary supplement that makes poop have no odor. That's right, it makes poop non-stinky. Here's an excerpt from the segment that almost made me have a wreck:Howard: "They should make a product that makes your poop stink even worse.'Somebody Died.'"Artie: "That product already exists, its called

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1129060969869439832005-10-11T14:57:00.000-05:002005-10-11T15:02:49.876-05:00

Can you tell these cars apart? I can't! I have to tell you, this pisses me off! I don't care if I work for the company, this is bullshit! The one on the left is a 2006 Jag XK8, and the other one is a 2005 Aston Martin DB9. I could have put the Vantage or the DB8 there, and it would be pretty much the same. Why would someone spend anywhere from 185 to 325 grand for an Aston Martin when you get the

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1129043539905994412005-10-11T10:08:00.000-05:002005-10-11T10:12:20.046-05:00

The Yankees are done for the season. God, that makes me happy. I couldn't possibly tell you the origins of my hatred for the Yanks, but hate them I do. Go Whatever-team-is-beating-the-Yankees!

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1128790567942788392005-10-08T12:00:00.000-05:002005-10-10T09:04:27.280-05:00

A 14 year old was having sex with the woman pictured here. He told his mommy on her. I have nothing more to say.By the way, those are mugshots up there.Oh, and is it just me or does she look better without make-up than with?

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1128643550802014572005-10-06T18:57:00.000-05:002005-10-06T19:05:50.806-05:00

I had to post just to show you this. Oh, the beauty that is the animated GIF. I just got inspired.Animated GIFThe impossible becomesMy reality

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1128641986013350992005-10-06T18:37:00.000-05:002005-10-06T18:41:19.753-05:00

Sheila Crump Johnson is America's first Black female billionaire. She is the former wife of Robert L. Johnson, with whom she co-founded Black Entertainment Television. When they sold the business in 2000, it netted them nearly $3 billion. Two years later, they were in court working out the terms of their divorce. The presiding judge was William Newman, Jr., a friend of Mrs. Johnson's from 30

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1128629040353826342005-10-06T15:03:00.000-05:002005-10-06T15:04:00.356-05:00

The story of my life.

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1128546511195211362005-10-05T16:02:00.000-05:002005-10-05T16:08:31.203-05:00

My daughter had a sore throat last week (which mysteriously disappeared on its own) and I found out yesterday that my brother and his son have been diagnosed with strep throat. Ever since my buddy Wade (aka DDT) and I had the exact same symptoms a few years ago, and his doctor diagnosed strep while my doctor stuck a long wooden Q-tip down my throat only to tell me that there was nothing wrong, I

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1128462152030838152005-10-04T16:41:00.000-05:002005-10-05T11:17:26.673-05:00

I heard a story on NPR this morning about the "…beautiful granite and stone…" courthouse in New Orleans. Apparently, the evidence room is in the basement and the judge, who rode out the storm in the courthouse, witnessed about 8 feet of water in the lobby. I think it's safe to say the basement had some flooding. I think it's also safe to say that New Orleans is a city that cares a lot about

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1128348611412469592005-10-03T11:10:00.000-05:002005-10-03T09:14:15.283-05:00

Let's dance, dickweed. – Ron BurgundyI hate confrontation. I am the biggest puss on God's green earth when it comes to a fight. If I were a burger, I'd be a Big Mac with no meat or onions and light Mac sauce on the side. Strangely, the desire to stay out of a fight has nearly driven me to fisticuffs. I had a drunk friend itching for a bar brawl once, and in my femininity, I threatened to open up

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1128046571695706292005-09-30T23:29:00.000-05:002005-09-30T09:45:55.873-05:00

Below is a story that's been circulating on the internet. Some are suggesting that it's a joke because the rest of the story is a list of possible names for the new concoction, some of which are hilarious, all of which are obvious jokes (or attempts at them).Some Walmart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item -- Walmart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1128097771366226682005-09-30T13:35:00.000-05:002005-09-30T13:06:39.460-05:00

And Bill Bennett spake:"But I do know that it's true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could -- if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down. That would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down. So these far-out, these far-reaching, extensive extrapolations

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1127947935667679342005-09-29T14:01:00.000-05:002005-09-29T12:53:43.183-05:00

Disclaimer: I am an American. As such, I love Americans. I don't care what state they're from or what dumbasses govern them. Conversely, I hate politicians-no matter what letter they have in front of their names.I saw a little of Michael D. Brown's congressional testimony on CNN this morning, and he said something interesting. He pointed out to the group of scumbags questioning him that Katrina

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1127840077520829502005-09-27T13:54:00.000-05:002005-09-30T13:13:15.710-05:00

I read a great article this morning by a woman called Star Parker (amazingly, she's neither as fat nor as stupid as a bovine bred for the properties of its lactic acid production), who runs something called the Coalition on Urban Renewal and Education. While she is neither fat nor stupid, she does share one thing in common with the famously bitchy co-host of The View; she's black. Now then, for

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139828.post-1127749470708995542005-09-26T13:45:00.000-05:002005-09-26T11:57:37.220-05:00

Coming Soon!Ah, yes. There it is. OK, I'm ready now.Holy crap. I just wrote a whole bunch of boring crap on here that made me laugh (I don't care about you) and its gone. Gone!!! Its nowhere to be found. I have hit the back button 42 times, and its not there. This sucks! No one makes me laugh like me, and my beautiful work is gone! Crap! I had some good stuff on there, I swear. It was a stream of

Mitch/Mikehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13780123233047638737noreply@blogger.com1